I woke up this morning feeling a bit odd. My back was super aching as usual, but I could not get over my dream. The night before I went to bed I thought about incorporating my dreams onto my blogs. I didn't take it too serious, but usually when I pre-think about my dreams before I go to bed, I remember them. Ok. So, I woke up feeling like I just had a very strange dream, but I was sort of scared to tell it. The dream was not scary, but the concept of sharing it was. I tossed and turned and then I told my boyfriend that I had the weirdest dream.
BF: What did you dream or what?
ME: I had a dream that I was at a party with a lot of people. It felt like there were over 100 people at the party. It was at a huge house painted white, centralized in like a forest type place. I was with Denise (my best friend). But, I was dressed in like a black patent leather dominatrix outfit. It was like bondage. It was definitely skanky. Even in my dream I was super self conscious of my troubled areas. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and saw all my thigh flaws. I'm walking around the party and I see dudes I went to high school with and I also see a guy who I knew from high school that committed suicide last year. Rest in peace. In my dream I knew he was dead, but somehow it was logical that he was walking around. It was like he had been brought back to life. He stood out in my dream for sure. He said hi to me. I waved back and thought that I should come over and ask how he was doing. But, I felt weird about it and focused my attention on how insecure I was feeling about my body. I told Denise that I felt weird in my outfit. I had interesting hair on the lower part of my body that I felt was too long, and it was definitely showing because that part of my body was exposed. I told Denise we should walk to my house. My house was across from where we were. We walked over to my house crossed bright green grass and a white picket fence. Denise did not know this, but I wanted to trim excess hair on the lower part of my body. I decided this would take too long, but kept complaining about it. Then Denise said to me, "Oh my gosh Brenda, this isn't a competition."
It doesn't end there. I also had a dream that I was cooking for my nephew, who is now about 14 years old, and his girlfriend. His girlfriend was chubby and had a very chola demeanor. We were at the last apartments I had lived in while I still lived with my mom in high school. This was also the home where he lived when he was about 1-2 years old. I cooked some steak for them. But, it was rare. My nephew’s girlfriend looked at it a bit disturbed, and then put it in her mouth. She then told me that I needed to add more water to my pan while I cooked it. We were all eating on my mom's white leather couch. I remember looking at her face and grinning inside my thoughts thinking that she got on my nerves. I was irritated while she chewed. Then, I'm not sure what happened, but I was looking for them. But, more so, I was looking for her. I thought there was something fishy about them, and especially her. Something very teenager sneaky was up their sleeve. I looked for her on the couch, as if I were looking for a lost object. In my mind, she had shrunk herself. I looked under and over the couch. I reached my hand in the crack of the couch and just when I thought I had found her, I pulled out a zip lock bag filled with chunks of chewed meat that she had supposedly eaten.